Christine Advises the Ex-Husbands

Hey Christine!  My 15-year-old doesn't want to attend a summer barbeque at her grandparents' house (they're her mother’s parents) because her mom’s live-in boyfriend will be there. Our divorce occurred, in large part, due to her infidelity with this man. If my daughter doesn't go, her grandparents will be mad at her. Should I "make" her go, or tell her it's okay not to go?

Dear Ex-Husband of a Homewrecker:   Maybe someone should clue GramGram and Poppy in on what’s going on.  Are they aware that your ex-wife was chalking up someone else’s pool cue while the two of you were still married?  Maybe if they knew the real reason your daughter doesn’t want to share the same air space with a philandering mother, they would cut your daughter a little slack.  Perhaps they’ll even stop inviting their homewrecker daughter to their house, and will be able to invite their granddaughter over for holidays and what-not without making her face what’s-her-name and the sleazy boyfriend.

Hey Christine!  My girl friend is having a huge problem with the fact that I still have contact with my ex-wife. My ex and I have been apart for about 2 years now. We don't have kids together but I told her she could always come to me if she needed help.  I am the one who asked for the divorce so I feel the need to help her because of my own guilt for hurting her. My girlfriend says if I continue to step in and help my ex that she won't want to stay in a relationship with me.

Dear Guilt-Ridden:  Duh.  You owe the ex nothing.  As in “nada.”  Just because you asked for the divorce doesn’t mean you’re at her beck and call for the rest of your life.  I’m sure you had your reasons for kicking her to the curb - maybe because she always made you feel guilty, yes?  Or maybe because she was too needy?  Your ex-wife survived just fine before she met you, and she’ll survive just fine without you (no offense intended).  Use some of that energy you would have spent re-caulking the ex’s bathroom to take your new Favorite Flavor out on the town.  And don’t forget to block the ex-wife’s number on your phone.

 

Hey Christine!  How do you know it’s time to divorce your wife?

Dear Clueless Soon-To-Be-Ex-Husband:  Umm, let’s see.  I’d say the time to start divorce proceedings would be when you start finding receipts from sleazy motels on your Visa bill, or see her on Priceline.com booking flights to the Turks and Caicos Islands - knowing that you’re afraid to fly; or start hearing messages from a wedding planner on your answering machine.