Yes, it’s been an extremely long, long, long time since I’ve updated my blog. So many things going on … so little time to sit down and kvetch about them. I’m easing back into the swing of things slowly. Here, for your amusement and possible Budweiser-induced bar discussions, are a few topics to get you thinking before my next post.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Who had the bright idea to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why, during the winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why haven’t you heard any father-in-law jokes?
Discuss.
Chris,
Thanks for putting so many of these thoughts on paper. There is still time to be a stand-up comic. So many of the items below have I done or thought about....did the vacuum cleaner bit just a few days ago.
By the way called you at the office yesterday and the recording came on about calling for a tow truck. Of course didn't want to leave a message for you just in case someone else may have answered a personal call.
Shortly after I left to pick up my sister to go to our weekly luncheon. By the time I got home I'm sure you had left the office.
Had about 4 - 5" last night and we're already shoveled out.
Enjoy your weekend. Hi to Mr. Sine
Bonnie
Posted by: Bonnie | 01/22/2012 at 01:28 PM
I would say 99% of those are all things we have thought about.
Posted by: Cheryl | 01/27/2012 at 06:10 AM